Stress Buster: What Is This Thing Called Stress?
Henrietta Harrison, M.A., L.M.F.T

You're late for an appointment. You're speeding down the Post Road at 45 miles per hour in a 25 mph zone. In your rear view mirror you become aware of the flashing red lights of a patrol car. The siren is whining. You're about to be pulled over and ticketed. As your eyes dart between your mirror and the road, you swerve sharply to narrowly miss the car to your right. Your breathing becomes rapid, your muscles tense, beads of perspiration collect on your forehead. You are experiencing stress.

Now imagine a slightly different scenario. Let's say you've been promised a $10,000 check for every speeding ticket you get this year. This time, the flashing red lights and the siren bring a smile to your face. You're having a great day!

What's the difference? Perception. Your perception of any given situation determines whether you experience it as stressful or not. Stress results from how you react to a situation rather than the situation itself.

So then, what is stress? Stress is the tension created in response to a demand from outside or within you. The amount of stress you experience is governed by the perceived imbalance between the demand and your capability to cope with it. Or in other words, you feel greatest stress in any situation you're not sure you can handle.

Dr. Hans Selye, the father of stress research, described the powerful changes that take place in your body when you get upset in reaction to stress. Your blood pressure skyrockets causing your brain to release hormones which send adrenaline surging through your veins. Your muscles tense, ready for action. The circulation to your digestive system and sexual organs is virtually cut-off. Because your body treats all stress as life threatening, your brain is telling you "You can do those things later; now, you're in a fight for your life." Any number of emotions come into play: fear, anxiety, anger. Under stress, you experience what is commonly called the "fight or flight" reaction.

If getting upset is so disruptive to our minds and bodies, you might wonder why people choose to get so upset in stressful situations. "Choose?" you ask. "You've got to be kidding. No one chooses to get upset. Like indigestion, it just happens. All of a sudden you feel it. There is no choice involved."

I disagree. I believe getting upset is a choice. Consider the following: When you open a container of milk for your morning coffee and the milk curdles in the cup, do you launch into a tirade that sends your dog scurrying for cover? Probably not. So then why is it that when you're standing in the shopping center parking lot in the rain and can't find your car keys in under a minute you go ballistic? How are lost keys different from sour milk?

The explanation is that each of us has some sort of internal rating system. An event happens and we arbitrarily rank it from one to ten on our Personal Disaster Scale. A "one" merits a ho-hum response. A "ten" means either panic or total warfare.

What makes some events a "one" and others a "ten"? Your perception. It's how you interpret an event that determines whether it is stressful and gets you upset. Events don't cause stress; interpretations do. Which brings us back to the speeding ticket. It isn't the ticket which causes stress; it's how you view it.

We can each choose to get upset or not in many, if not most, circumstances. A simple way to reduce the stress you experience is to put your stressors in perspective by ranking them from one to ten.

Create your own "Stress Scale." Events which rate a "ten" would include catastrophic events like divorce or a death of someone close to you. Medium-size calamities like an auto accident or losing a promotion at work would rate a "five" or thereabouts. Some possible "ones" on your scale might be missing a train or forgetting toothpaste on a camping trip.

When something happens that begins to upset you, give it a rating from one to ten. But be realistic: If you break a nail or cut yourself shaving, that's not a ten. It won't make CNN News. As you rate the event, ask yourself "Is this worth throwing my mind and body into turmoil?" That simple question can change your life.

When a well-known cardiologist had a heart attack, he took stock of his life and discovered that life's frustrations big and small kept him under stress virtually all day. He resolved no longer to sweat the small stuff. When he began to evaluate the stressors in his life, he determined that most of it is small stuff.

When you rank the stressors in your life from one to ten, you may find that many of the events and situations that formerly upset you are not worth getting upset over. Your body and your emotions will thank you for it. So will those around you. You may not live happily ever after; but you will live more happily, and possibly longer---if you don't sweat the small stuff.